Tag Archive | happy marriage

single and happy

It is possible to be single and happy. There are lots of men and women who now choose being single as their lifestyle of choice. It is not something that has been forced on them because of divorce or the death of their spouse. They have had opportunities to share their lives with nice, trustworthy and caring people and simply do not want to.
We are always hearing that there is a recipe for a happy marriage. Or how to avoid an unhappy marriage. It is assumed that marriage is the ultimate, the very reason for our being. But why? Now that women have a career or well paid job which they enjoy and they can stand on their own two feet paying their bills and sorting out their own problems, what is the point to marriage?
It is not just young people who see things differently. I know a lady who is 73 and has been married three times. She is not wealthy or a lady of means, she has trouble scraping together enough money to just pay her bills without any luxuries, yet she is what I call a confirmed bachelorette, who is determined to stay single. She has happy memories and sad memories of her past marriages, but over the years she has come to believe that the best way for her to live is alone. She loves living alone so much that when her beloved oldest son wanted to move in with her she was upset and furious! She does not want to live with anyone.
For those who choose to be single but like company marriage or sharing your life with a partner does not have to be the answer. You can have a lodger who rents a room from you in return for a certain amount of money each week. With this arrangement the lodger has their room and sometimes a chat with you, but they have no right to question you about what you do or who you see, share your bed or take over your home. If, for any reason, you become bored with them or decide you want more privacy you just give them notice to leave. No need for a long messy divorce and finding somewhere to live.
Even your home is what you make it. You may prefer to live in a one bedroom flat and spend more on a car and holidays. So what? Others spend every spare penny they have on a wonderful home. You might decide you want a pet, maybe a dog. Your dog might turn out to be the most loyal and loving companion you ever had, without any of the arguments you could get with a partner.
Your sex life is your own. Be celibate if you have gone off of sex and do not fancy anyone. Have two lovers if you prefer. You can dress anyway you please. Dye your hair in all the colours of the rainbow if you are brave enough. You do not have to worry about what someone things or if they still find you attractive.
Life is so short. Decide which lifestyle suits you best and go for it. The worst that can happen is that you change your mind later. That is hardly the end of the World. We all make mistakes. But if we do not try things and experiment we never find out.

So? Are you single and happy?